News from Becky

Since I have been on RTC I have been able to take an afternoon walk. I love the opportunity this brings to go outside in the sunshine. It has been fun to see the changes of spring occurring: daffodils and tulips blooming, flowers budding, grass greening, birds chirping, and a warm sun shining. I have noticed my eyes seem to track the slight changes that happens everyday like a new birds’ nest, baby ducklings, and small flowers beginning to poke through.

While seeking these treasures of spring, it has made me ponder the small changes in myself. Coming to the Center for Change was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, but also one of the most rewarding. In this safe haven I have gained the strength to begin my journey of recovery. Each day I am striving to identify the changes in myself, however, I still on a process of self-discovery. Even though I cannot see or feel all the changes about me right now, I can identify a few.

For several months, the trees and flowers were hidden beneath the dark and cold of winter. Now in this cycle of a new beginning of spring, they are able to break through to the light and brightness of spring. This rebirth brings a renewed sense of happiness and freedom.

Like the flowers, I feel I was trapped in the darkness of my eating disorder. I was striving to hide because I felt ashamed and disgraced. I feel freedom to blossom the attributes of laughter, happiness, and fun. My mind and heart are struck each time I find myself really laughing to the point my stomach hurt. The first time it happened with my roommate Michelle I felt like a little kid experiencing something for the first time. I forgot what it felt like to smile and laugh that hard. Laughing definitely is a healthy medicine. I believe even Heavenly Father laughs with us at times.

I also feel the world seems brighter with possibilities to explore. My mind is contemplates the adventures that can be pursued. I am excited to seek new passions that can be enjoyed in life. I am finding life is too short to just be work all the time. I want to find a way to work hard and play hard.

Sometimes in spring storms, flowers are tossed and turned about it the wind. Their reaching for the light of the sun is mocked in the thunderous wind. However, as the storm settles the flower finds the strength to continue to grow and shine its splendor through the nourishment of the rain.

I feel I have been through a rolling storm in my life. However, through the process of recovery I feel my faith has strengthened and expanded in ways it otherwise could not have. I have great faith and knowledge in Heavenly Father’s plan for each of His children. I know He knows me individually. He hears and answers my prayers. Sometimes it isn’t as fast as I want, but He always answers in the best time. God is aware of my strengths and weaknesses and builds my character upon these. A weakness is a secret blessing to draw closer to God and reach my true potential.

Although I cannot identify all the changes in myself now, I am grateful for the opportunities of growth I have experienced over the past few months. I know God is aware of me and is helping me bloom into the beautiful flower I can become, even through the passing of storms.