It has been a fun weekend with Nelson and family. I admit it was a very anxious leap of faith to leave the Center for so long. Kind of funny to think that I was so scared to go there, but now I am so scared to come home. I guess it is kind of like what a missionary feels. I am so grateful for the challenges that I have that will make it easier when I come home for good.
My friend Cindy wrote a letter with something that uplifted me. She was dissecting the song "Daughter of a King" by Hilary Weeks. One line read, "He has always known what He created you to be." She said, "He is patient as we go through the process the know that for ourselves- and really, even with detours, we can take what we learn from the less than perfect circumstances we find ourselves in on the journey and enhance and add dimension to what He created us to be. No experience or choices nee be wasted, everything we experience here can increase the depth of our character."
These were helpful words to confirm my thoughts that life's experiences are great stepping stones. They are growth oppotunities that provide a way to build relationships and understand love.
Another learning experience occurred when I was reading step 11 in my Twelve Step book. The 11th step is on using prayer and meditation to heal. One of the prayers it gave an example of said, "For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life." The last statement was powerful to read. While suffering in my eating disorder I felt like I died because I had lost who I was and where I was going. Everything seemed gloomy. Now as I have begun my recovery I am "awakened" to joy that can be found in life. Life is full of possibilities and treasures to be found.
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Becky- Every time I've seen you lately, it is like a breath of fresh air, a sign of relief, and a heart jump of joy all at once. At the last CFC family week, they talked about how when girls arrive there it is like they are asleep. Then after a period of time, it is like they wake up and are able to introduce themselves. I can see that with you. For so long, it was like you were here, but you were a shell of yourself. You weren't really there. But now I see Becky again. I see you when you smile and laugh and talk about things you've learned and want to do. It seems as though the sun is shining brighter because of you! Thanks for all your hard work. It is great to have your spirit bright again! It makes my day to hear from you and talk to you and spend time with you. I am so proud of you!
ReplyDeleteBecky-
ReplyDeleteI know I haven't been very good about keeping emails and comments going while you've been in the center for change, but we have loved reading your emails and posts. Especially lately, your emails really show how you are changing and progressing and finding yourself again. We are so happy for you and excited to hear about the things you are learning and experiencing. Keep going so strong! We look forward to you being well and whole and coming home soon! Love - The Petersons