Today for the outing we went rock climbing. In my eating disorder I didn’t have the strength or desire to do this which was something I enjoyed before. As I was rock climbing sometimes it became too difficult to reach the top. My mind felt bad that I didn’t get to the top because of the desire to be perfect. However, once I got to the bottom and looked at how far I got it was farther than I thought while looking down disappointingly on the wall.
This can be compared to my process of recovery. It was hard to believe and see the changes I am making each day. Sometimes I look back at where I was when I came in to where I am now and can recognize some growth. I am scared to look in the mirror because I don’t know if I’ll recognize myself anymore. However, with time I’ll be able to do it. I just have to have faith in who I have become instead of fearing the mirror.
Tomorrow I am teaching a lesson in spirituality about identifying your true self through the eyes of your higher power. As I was working on it I wrote this
poem:
Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . .
Who am I?
Where am I going?
Am I lovable and of worth?
In front of the mirror my eyes are lost
Searching to find my true identity,
The beauty within,
Self-acceptance
My dark monster covered my eyes of
My personality, passions, principles, purpose
Constant destructive expressions:
Broken, unlovable, worthless
The demon begins to leave as I trust the light in my eyes
My eyes lead in a hopeful direction
A new perspective:
Stumbling blocks become stepping stones
Mirror, who am I?
I am kind and compassionate,
Courageous and determined,
Accepting and Loving
I am a designer of my passions that
Mold my purpose,
Define my character,
Bring treasures of happiness
I am a daughter of God who loves me.
I believe in His eternal love and grace
He lifts me, comforts me, protects me
He is my anchor
I am a wife, daughter, sister, and friend
An author of my destiny of joy, hope, and peace
Mirror, in you I choose to see my power and self-worth
A daughter of God
Becky, I loved your poem. Good luck in teaching your class today.
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