Becky's Journal

January 21, 2010

We had a bit more time to study this morning in the unit with a quiet atmosphere. While some of the girls slept, I enjoyed the quiet time to read and ponder. Sometimes a quiet room is hard to find with the in and out commotion and constant music. I embrace and yearn for moments of quiet solitude for it brings peace, comfort, and guidance.

I was reading King Benjamin's sermon on the mount-a favorite part of the Book of Mormon. In Mosiah 3:3-5 it talks of joy found in Jesus Christ because of the power of His atonement. He is a God of miracles-providing healing for all manner of sicknesses, temptations, and pains. He knows how to comfort and bless with His grace. Joy can be found in knowing God has created a way and power through which we can return with Him some day. This joy is joy in the grace and power of the atonement and resurrection.

The following verses taught me something new today. In verse 6 it says "he shall cast out devils, or evil spirits which dwell in the hearts of the children of men." I believe my eating disorder is an evil spirit within my heart. While ministering on earth Christ commanded many unclean spirits to be cast out. The evil spirits bring one to "suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue..." (verse 7) I believe these pains to be both physical and spiritual.

I know as I surrender my will to God, it is an action of faith that will empower me to overcome. He sees and knows all things, from the beginning to end. In Mosiah 4;9 it describes how God has wisdom and power and to believe in Him because He comprehends all things. I am praying each day for the ability to keep my faith in God and those helping that step by step I may discover who I am and the end picture they can see.