A Letter from Becky

Yesterday I received a letter from Becky. She wanted me to post this on the blog.

I believe I am a daughter of Heavenly Father who loves and care for me each day. He is my master healer. I am grateful that He sent His son to live and die for me. Through the Atonement, I know the Savior is able to understand completely all my challenges. In Alma 7:11-12 it says:

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

I am learning that my Savior understands the temptations of Ed's voice and his influence. Although I don't want to say or express I am sick, I know anorexia is a sickness. He has felt and understands the pain, sorrow, and hardships I am facing. When moments arise that no one seems to understand, I know my Savior can and will provide mercy and healing. To receive blessings of healing and comfort I need to have faith to ask for His guidance and help. As I reach upward for His healing hands, He will comfort and protect me. His arms are always outstretched to bring me peace and safety.

Each person is faced with individual weaknesses and challenges that provide important opportunities of growth and change. These experiences are to help shape and mold me into the daughter my Savior sees I can become. His loving, merciful arms will not take away the challenges, but He is there to reach out and help me find higher ground, embrace me with love, and comfort my pain.

In 1 Nephi 1:20 it explains how the Savior will pour out his tender mercies for the power of deliverance. I am learning trials will provide opportunities to experience the Lord's tender mercies that will give me power to escape my eating disorder. The Savior is my comforter, redeemer, Savior, and rescuer.

I was once told a story about a young girl traveling across the plains with the pioneers. During part of the journey she was made to run beside the wagon in the cold. She longed to be in the warmth of the wagon and felt frustrated at times as to why she had to run alongside it. When she finally came inside, she found that she had run alongside for a reason - to receive warmth from running. This can be related to moments in life where we are striving to overcome challenges and grow in ways we don't see until it is over.

My mind can picture myself running alongside the wagon, trying to keep up. I can see my Savior as the driver of the wagon. Often I am reaching up for the Savior to rescue me and pull me in, confused to how and why I am running. Sometimes I feel confused as why He won't help me, but rather leaves me alone.

After running alongside and gaining strength through His grace and enabling power, I am given a chance to rest. Once I rest I discover that looking back at my footprints along the path that sometimes they are my own alone, which is a time for me to learn and grow in ways the Savior knows I can.

Sometimes there are two sets of footprints. These are times when I am learning to overcome it on my own with the help of Him beside me, strengthening me to overcome. During this time the Savior enables me with His strength to keep going, making me stronger along the way.

Then there are times when there are footprints that aren't mine, but the Savior's alone. Similar to the poem, "Footprints", I believe that these are moments when the Savior carries me until I am strong enough to try it again on my own. He is familiar with the path and what I can do. Through his enabling power, He strengthens, loves, and cares for me in a way that shapes and helps me to become the refined image He knows I can be. I am discovering life and my weaknesses are not going to be overcome on my own, but alongside the Savior. He is there to guide, encourage, and even lift me when needed. I can't do it on my own. I need his eternal love and grace, my enabling power.