A Mother's Touch

As I was thinking about my mother today I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it.

A Mother’s Touch

By: Rebecca Yates

It is hard to capture the depth and breadth of a mother’s love

A glimpse of heaven’s love, eternal and divine

Tender blessings of God’s grace and mercies

Enrapture in my mother’s gentle touch

Through the touch of my mother’s hands

Comfort, protection, affection surround me

Strengthening and uplifting me heaven bound

Through my mother’s thoughtful prayers

I feel strengthened by the touch of the master’s hand

Miracles and angels enrapture me

Through my mother’s affectionate eyes

Twinkling messages of hope, peace, joy are sent

Guiding my spirit toward my potential as a Daughter of a King

Through my mother’s keen ears

Spoken and unspoken messages are perceived

Understanding listening is worth a lifetime of speaking

Through my mother’s soft spoken words

Encouragement and empowerment is given

Testifying of God’s eternal divinity and love

Through my mother’s faithful footsteps

Her righteous example enlightens my path

Walking beside me each step of the way as my loyal friend

Through the touch of the Master’s hand

He blesses me with an earthly angel

A messenger of God’s true, eternal love

My dear mother

My Heaven Sent Angel

I wrote this poem for Julie for a book I made to say thank you. She has truly been a light and angel in my life. Someone I truly admire, love and treasure. A heaven sent blessing.


These simple words are just a glimpse into a woman I cherish
A steady lighthouse through a dark, thunderous storm of my life
Heaven sent tender mercy, manifesting God’s infinite love for me
My angel of magical light to watch over me

Genuine love mends my broken bucket
Beginning to fill it with the sparkling pixie dust of life
Contagious smiles and tickling stomachs of laughter
Finding freedom to enjoy the simple pleasures of life

Giving hugs to comfort, console, and celebrate
Reminding me I am held in God’s embracing arms of love
A love without limits or conditions
Strengthening my capacity to love and to be loved

Enlightening my faith and testimony in my God
Recognizing His outpouring of daily tender mercies
Empowering my strength to overcome
Magically transforming my stumbling blocks into stepping stones

Shining a trusting light to see my true reflection
Uncovering the twinkle in my eyes again
Ready to explore and experiment my passions and dreams
Discovering the light of joyful possibilities in my life

Guiding my spirit heaven bound
Identifying my character as God sees me:
A daughter of King with promises of eternity
With potential to share a divine light of charity, hope, and peace

A trusting, genuine friend and example
A companion to lean on and lift to higher ground
A cheerleader through my bumps and bruises
A confidant of secrets, worries, passions, dreams

As my journey continues forward
Gratitude fills my heart for your influence and love
Continuing to seek the magic of life to fly
With my angel Tinker Bell at my side

Broken Poem

I was thinking about the word broken yesterday and wrote this poem about some of my reflections and thoughts. It made me think about the blessings that come from feeling "broken."

Broken & Mending
Becky Yates
4/18/2010

Broken
A word that usually brings feelings of despair
Has developed a new, deeper meaning to me
Of hope, healing, and mending

All things that are broken can be mended
Added strength through persistence
Blessings overflowing
An enduring pathway to heaven above

The sacred covenant renewed through the sacrament
Are given through partaking of the broken bread
In memory of the Only Begotten
Who died that I may born again

This holy covenant reminds me of
My Savior’s broken tomb
Opened to mend all men’s graves
To live with Him again

My broken heart
Opens my soul to greater understanding
Mending my spirit with strength to endure
Enlarging my heart with a greater capacity to love

In humility my knees are broken in humility in prayer
Heaven’s light seeps into me bowed before my Maker
His arms wrapped around me mend my wounds
Comfort and blessed by His eternal love

My broken spirit is mended with love
Becoming more whole and complete
Leading me to heaven above
More refined to my true self

I am broken
But not without the power to mend from my Savior
His healing power leads me heaven bound
A power to heal wounds to create my greater self

A Poem By Becky

Dear Family,

I just finished reading an amazing book JoLynn gave me for Easter. It touched me in many ways. It is called, "Making Sense through Suffering." I wrote a poem for an assignment (and because I wanted to) to express some of the feelings and things I learned. I hope you enjoy it too.


As I begin my personal journal of mortality

I feel anxious and scared for the experience ahead

I inquire, “Father, can I overcome what is before me?”

He gently responds, “The riches of eternity are mine to give.”



Even though I leave my Heavenly Father’s physical presence

His spirit continues to embrace and console me

My Father’s power is a fortress to my soul

Ever embracing and strengthening



My journey is filled with mountains and valleys

Each tailored to my individual capacities and needs

At times I feel enslaved, entombed, and helpless

Yet my Father is ever near, empowering me to reach my potential



My feet stumble on occasion

My back weary from the load I bear

Dark shadows and storms surround me

I am confused at how to move forward



Through God’s enduring spirit of love and tenderness

I catch a glimpse of the light of Christ

Putting things in a clearer perspective

My Lord gives me insight into the purpose of my suffering



I am discovering chastening is not a prison, but a passage to His presence

Not a forbidding wall, but an inviting veil

Chastening is heaven bound and sometimes the only way home

Changing me into a grand and holy being



In my test of life

I know I cannot call it quits

I cannot peak ahead

I can only focus on being my best here and now





During my darkest and painful hour I ask the Lord,

“Have I grown enough? Am I finished?”

“Almost enough,” seemed to be the Lord’s answer

His silence continues to say, “The miracle is not quite complete.”



Looking back upon my path

I notice I am never alone

Angels surround me to bear me up and deliver me

Miracles and tender mercies help me survive and come alive



I begin to recognize the perfect gift and grand purpose of suffering:

Discover my growth’s capacity for joy

Gain an understanding of heaven

Increase my ability for friendship with love and empathy



I find the greatest treasure of my journey is

God’s unwavering attention and affection toward me

The glowing warmth of His love trickle into me

Blessing me with riches of eternity – joy and love



I live in the embrace of Christ

When I die, I die in His arms

For they are ever reaching and strengthening

Drawing me into His presence



In His arms at the end of my journey

I catch a glimpse of my reflection

In my perfectly imperfect life with trials and sufferings I am made whole

Becoming the queen God intended me to be as His daughter



Love you!

Phase Four Experiences

After several months of trying to overcome my eating disorder on my own, I was ready to surrender. I felt bruised, broken, and defeated by my unwanted demon. My “bucket” was full of holes that it could not hold the magic pixie dust found in really living life. Like the character Peter Pan, I felt haunted by a dark shadow that taunts me to believe I am worthless and unlovable. My shadow overcasts my true self with guilt and depression, robbing me of my dreams and passions. What I once believed was truth was mocked by the negative mind of my eating disorder. Feeling helpless, I was desperately seeking to find magical “pixie dust” to fill my bucket, separate me from the dark shadow of my eating disorder, and find the strength to fly.

On December 28, I surrendered my individual battle to receive greater help from the Center for Change. The experiences and relationships I have had here have helped heal my broken bucket to begin my personal collection of magical pixie dust. These experiences have been life-changing and life-saving that has shaped my character in many ways that I am still discovering.

In my journey to learn to fly, I have tripped and fallen many times. However, I have not been alone in my stumbles. My treatment team, care techs, nurses, therapists, and other patients have held a net underneath me to protect me from my falls. They have helped me fill my personal bucket of pixie dust to find the courage to try to fly.

The magical pixie dust of the Center for Change has helped me discover the power of play. While at the Center for Change I have discovered play to be a enchanting empowerment in my life. Recreational adventures have helped me identify my passions, experience pleasure, and define myself again.

My eating disorder placed doubts of acceptance with others. Feelings of disappointment and shame brought me to isolate from friends and family, robbing me of further developing relationships. In Peter Pan, Peter shares his pixie dust with his friends, the Lost Boys. I felt lost and lonely in my eating disorder like the Lost Boys. In experimenting with recreational activities at the Center for Change, I have found and redefined friendships. I, who once believed I was lost, have found new relationships through the connections I have shared with others in outings and recreational experiences. Each patient has helped to fill my bucket of magical pixie dust with the examples and personal light they have shared with me.

I am so grateful for the recreational opportunities and challenges the Center for Change has provided for me. These experiences have brought healing and empowerment to have the strength to move forward in recovery. I have enjoyed the simple movements in art therapy of drawing, coloring, painting, and writing. Just experiencing these movements have helped me process and work through my past and present emotions. My experiences in art therapy added pixie dust to my bucket with the twinkling it helped me see of my true self, especially through the eyes of my Higher Power.

One specific recreational activity I have learned a lot from is volunteering to work with the toddlers at Courage Reins. They have helped me see my great love to work and learn from children. It has been amazing to watch their growth and smiles each week. Even though they are smaller than me, they are great heroes in my life. Through watching their small steps of improvement, it has helped me catch a glimpse of the small changes in my own reflection and personality. This includes the twinkle in my eyes to see joy in the simple things of life.

I have enjoyed my experiences with trying new things on outings like-country skiing, painting, pottery, volunteering, rock climbing, visiting museums, snowshoeing, watching college sports, archery, and even back-packing camping. Each activity helped me gain insight into my potential and empowered me with learning experiences to evaluate my emotions and desires. New experiences helped me identify what I desire to pursue further in my life.

My bucket of magical pixie dust has also been filled with the power to feel the strength of my body. I have enjoyed exploring the movement of my body during Nia and Yoga classes. These classes have helped me feel connections between my mind, body, and spirit. The movements in Nia helped me connect, process, and express my emotions inside outwardly. Each class increased my gratitude for the power of my body’s strengths and abilities.

Music has also added to my bucket of magical pixie dust. Like Nia and Yoga, music has helped me connect feelings between my mind, body, and soul. Through the magic of music I was able to express my feelings in a way without using words. I have rediscovered the soothing rewards of music to my mind, body, and soul.

Through the therapeutic experiences I have had at the Center for Change I have found the magic pixie dust to discover my “Becky” voice again. I have realized ways to use my voice to assert myself against my eating disorder in a positive way. Additionally, I have learned additional light is added to my pixie dust when I use my voice with others. Combining my light with the group empowers my energy and courage to fly.

One of the simplest magical pixie dust spells I’ve had is experiencing what it feels like to smile and laugh again. Laughing is a simple, and yet it brings magnificent blessings. It has been fun to see the contagious magnetism the magic of laughing and smiling pixie dust can have for yourself and others. I have pondered the amazing feelings laughing brings to your face, stomach, mind, and body. I remember the first time I experienced a true to life belly laugh at the Center for Change. After sensing my tense stomach muscles, I stopped suddenly in amazement at what was occurring. I then expressed how I hadn’t felt that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach for a long time. It was like I was a child again. I found a simple and yet splendid treasured medicine in life- laughter.

I feel that my higher power has blessed me with a therapist and dietician who He knew would help me in the best way. Torey has also been an amazing magician in my life. She has given me enchanting pixie dust to defend against my eating disorder fears. With her gentle care and concern, I have gained new perspectives and beliefs about food. Torey has helped me to learn that food is a magical pixie dust in my life for the nourishment it gives my mind, body, and spirit. She has helped me battle my negative mind to believe I deserve to nurture and take care of my body so that I can have the strength to fly towards my passions and purpose.

Dr. Julie is a true magician – even with silly magic tricks. I loved the moments she shared making hands and feet disappear because it made me wonder if she could make Ed disappear. She has been one of my greatest sources of strength through my process of recovery. I have grown to love and adore her in ways words cannot explain. Through our therapy sessions, Dr. Julie has sprinkled magical pixie dust on me to find my sparkling, true self again. Her gentle words of advice and encouragement guided me to discover ways to cast my shadow away and find “Becky” again. Her gentle hugs walking to and after therapy were powerful sources of magical pixie dust. I cherish the moments we talked, laughed, and even cried together. Dr. Julie has become one of the greatest treasures of my heart.

As I leave the Center for Change, I carry in my bucket my own pixie dust to share with others. I want to spread the sparkle and light that life holds to others. Through this I feel I will have the strength and power to fly away from my eating disorder. My eyes are drawn to the pixie dusts’ twinkle of hope and empowerment for a life full of opportunities and happiness.

Post From Becky

Dear Family,

I hope you are all doing well. I miss you lots and hope to talk to you soon. Here is part of my journal entry for today:

I find each time I read Ether I find great insights from the experiences of the Jaredites. When the Brother of Jared saw God he was amazed to find that God had “flesh and blood” as a man. In Ether 3:16 it says, “Behold, this body, which ye now behold, is the body of my spirit; and man have I created after the body of my spirit.” This helped me understand that I am created after His spirit – perfect and full of love. My body is a gift of His spirit and should be treated with what and who it was given with – love.

We went to the Moa Art Museum at BYU for our outing today. The exhibit was called, “Mirror, Mirror.” Each surrounded the idea that our true identity is disguised behind what others perceive. Sometimes- actually most of the time – it takes time to truly understand someone. You have to get past the out shell to discover the great mysteries inside. I believe this is true even for yourself. My value is defined and of more worth than what is shown on the outside.

A Post From Becky

On the first Easter morning

Darkness was replaced with the light of God’s grace

Rejoicing cries are shouted from on high,

“He is Risen!”

What seemed to be an empty tomb

Was filled with God’s eternal love

A perfect atonement

Granting the powerful gift of resurrection

An endowment for all His children

To be born again

Blessings to be made whole

A new creature in Christ

Temporal death does not mark the beginning of its power

Resurrection is a divine gift for both the body and the spirit

A powerful gift to be found throughout time

Emulating God’s eternal and endless grace and love

This Easter I feel blessed with God’s greatest gift . . .

I am resurrected, a new life to begin

Shouts of praise fill my heart,

“I am Risen with God’s grace and love!”

The emptiness in my heart is overcome with love

I feel freed from a the captivity of my demon

His ropes of misery unravel as my faith becomes unshaken

Hope replaces the tempest of despair that fills my mind and soul

His hands of healing strengthens and empowers me

I leave behind the whispers of my demon

Looking to the voices of encouragement and light ahead

For I am a new creature in Christ