Reminiscing a Year in AZ

The other day Nelson and I were reviewing the events of the past year.  It is hard to believe just a year ago on the 4th of July, we sent Nelson's ASU graduate school application off on "a whim."  When sending the application it took a couple of tries as some of the documents did not make it to ASU the first time.  Yet, as I compiled everything together there was a feeling that change was coming.  The common patterns of the day to day I was familiar with seemed out of place, including starting a new school year.

Just as my first week of school at Butterfield Canyon Elementary finished on August 2nd, we received word from Walla Walla University and ASU that he had been admitted.  Nelson was shocked - and so was I!!  With this surprise, we looked to each other and questioned, "Now what?"  We did only what we knew how to do - took things one step at a time.  

Our big Arizona change occurred bit by bit.  One step led to the next.  I believe if my OCD was in control than everything would have had to be in place before change could have occurred.  However, my OCD was not in control, God's guiding hand was.  Within a week, Nelson was in Arizona with his sweet sister Michelle finalizing school enrollment, apartment hunting, and other things to prepare to come.  Within 2 weeks, we moved him down to begin school August 18th.  While he was beginning life here in Arizona, I was wrapping (literally) up things at home - packing and finalizing work.  By September 2nd, we had completely moved to Arizona.

Now a year later, life continues to bring changes with Little Tink on the way.  We anticipate her coming with joy - and a bit of nervousness.  Over the past few weeks with the great generosity of family and friends, we have begun to prepare for her coming.  Her nursery is just about ready with the essentials, knowing that more will be added when she arrives.  Each day we imagine together how life will continue to change with the arrival of our Little Tink.  We love her so much - our little bundle of pixie dust!

As we have reminisced about life's changes, I can't help but think of one my favorite talks that has been a life theme by President Utchdorf, "Your Happily Ever After."  I have quoted this talk often in my blog, but the words never seem to get old to me.  Like all of God's children, my life is a fairy tale with a beginning of "Once upon a time."  As President Utchdorf expressed, the story "promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil."  With my prince at my side, Nelson, we have battled demons, minons, and dragons of the adversary.  Each obstacle seemed too much to overcome alone.  Yet, as we have continued to build faith and learn to rely on God, He has lifted us to safety.  Together with my best friend, my fairy tale has and continues to unfold.  I have come to see and find gratitude in the beauty that arises from combating the adversary. 

In the changes of moving to Arizona, God's blessings have been abundant filling my soul with an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  I am so grateful for the miracles we have experienced: seeing Nelson find his life's professional passion; finding employment opportunities for me; health care resources; insurance opportunities; family support; new relationships discovered; strengthening of our marriage; and so much more.  Even in the midst of the challenges of change, God's hand is ever present, strengthening and supporting us as we continue to find our, "Happily Ever After."  


President Utchdorf explains of God's blessing, "And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”  With the arrival of Tink, I feel we are catching a glimpse of "Happily Ever After" by adding to our family chain.  I anticipate what Little Tink's fairy tale will behold and my part in it.  I hope to protect her from dangerous demons, but understand the necessary process they are in the pattern of change.  As her mom, I hope to help her see she is a beautiful princess creating her fairy tale that leads to her own "Happily Ever After."  Throughout her life, I hope to she will know how much I love her and the way she has added to my fairy tale.  I am so grateful that we will be together in our "Happliy Ever After."  

Tink's Nursery

Upon Nelson's arrival home last week our apartment office notified him of two big packages in the office.  The first was a travel system (car seat and stroller) from Nelson's family.  I haven't yet put the stroller together, but will soon.  It will be neat to see it pieced together.

My mom and sisters sent a bed set.  It is perfect fit to her nickname with pink and purple flowers and butterflies. It was fun to assemble it together in the nursery.  I put it all together when I got home. It was fun to see it all together.  As I stood back to look at it when I was done, my eyes teared up a little thinking of the reality of Little Tink joining us soon.  I set the mobile music and invited Nelson in.  His eyes went really big and then exclaimed, "Wow!  This makes it seem more real."  It is exciting to think of Little Tink sleeping in that little crib soon. We are anticipating her arrival for sure.  We are so grateful for our family's generous gifts to welcome Little Tink home.

Pixie Hollow Shower

For the past two weeks, Nelson and I have enjoyed some time at home in Salt Lake.  We thoroughly enjoyed time with family, striving to make every moment count.  While at home, my mom, sisters, and nieces threw a sweet baby shower for Little Tink.  The theme was a perfect fit - Pixie Hollow.  My sister's planned and created a wonderful get together.  I loved the decorations, sweet miniature treats, and most of all the company.  It was great fun to visit with so many loved ones that I miss so much - aunts, cousins, sisters, nieces, grandmothers, coworker friends, and ward sisters.  The short time I had to share with so many women I love and admire was priceless.  Nelson and I were overwhelmed with gratitude for the abundant gifts of love.  We are truly blessed!

BLUE or RED

Traditional baby colors are either baby blue or pastel pink.  Little Tink will be challenged with a battle between BLUE or RED: BYU or UTAH.  For Father's Day, I gave Nelson some BYU onesies for Little Tink.  He was totally surprised.  To join in the fun of competition, JoLynn (Nelson's mom) sent a little sweater to represent Utah.  Little Tink will have a rivalary to decide between.  I, however, think my sweet Grandpa White has already trained her to be a true BLUE Cougar.

Yesterday we set up Little Tink's nursery.  My sweet Aunt Vera loaned us her crib.  We had fun putting it together without an instruction's guide.  We are excited to have Little Tink join our home.  She has already added so much joy and love. 

If you notice in the crib there are two stuffed monkeys.  As a little girl I found my stuffed animal monkeys to be my "security blankets."  The collection all started with my Grandpa White's special Charlie, Sr.  I loved to play with his special gift at his house.  However, I really wanted one of my own.  I thought having a puppet monkey that "squeaked" was so neat.  For a few birthdays and Christmases I asked Santa for one.  He was a hard find!!  Santa found him after a loving search for the "perfect gift."  I can remember how excited I was for a matchiing monkey like my dear Grandpa.  Charlie, Jr. was well-loved, marked in his appearance now.  When I went to the Center for Change, my Grandma White gave me Charlie, Sr. to remind me that my Grandpa was there with me.  Like always, Grandpa was there often to watch over me. 

As I was setting up the nursery, I came across my box of monkeys.  I am excited to share Charlie, Sr. with Little Tink.  I know Grandpa will be there to watch over her.  I can't wait to share fond memories with her of him.  Although I am sure she already knows him well.  She too is probably a "Grandpa's Girl."

Little Foot

My Sweet Little Foot -

For the past few weeks I have been anticipating being able to feel you for the first time. However, I wasn't sure what you would feel like. Doctors and other mommies describe it as "butterfly flutterings" or "quickenings." I don't think any description can explain the feeling.

For some time I have thought I have felt you, but unsure. This week I went to the doctor. As I waited for the doctor I was wondering if the twists and turns in my tummy were nerves or you. While Dr. Linnerson and I were listening to your heartbeat, he said, "There is quite a bit of fetal (baby) movement. Can you feel your baby moving?" It was then I was certain that these "ticklings" was my sweet Little Foot.

When I told Daddy about your "butterfly flutterings," he wanted so much to feel it too. As we sat together, he put his hand on my tummy in hopes of feeling you. It was like you knew he was there because you began to move around lots! At first, Daddy was unsure if he would feel anything. All of the sudden, he jumped up, "Oh my goddness! I felt it. There IS something in there! That's so cool!" I wish I had a camera at that moment that you caught Daddy with your "butterfly flutterings." I will never forget the way your magical pixie dust ignited his eyes. The sweetest part was when Daddy said, "I will never forget this moment that I felt our baby - our Little Foot." I have to agree that neither will I.

Your wiggles make me giggle with the magic of knowing you are really there - it is not just a dream. Butterflies are symbolic in my life, so it is funny that many describe baby movements as "butterfly flutterings." To me butterflies mean freedom and hope. Now each time I feel you, I think there are some butterfly sprinklings of pixie dust. I cannot help but smile at their twinkles of hope and laughter. I am so excited to touch and hold your little feet and hands that create this magic. I love you more than words can say!

With all my love,
Always,
Mommy

 

Two Little Feet

  

When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. Heaven’s fairies bless our lives each and every day with treasures of pixie dust in God’s tender mercies and miracles.

We smile at the thought of the new fairy to join us soon – due October 20, 2012.  

We anticipate the twinkling of tiny toes, paintings of little hands, shimmer of silly smiles, giggling goodnight kisses, comforting cuddles, memories of messy faces, and glimmers of growth.

So come with us where dreams are born, and time is never planned.  Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land. . .

With love,

Sending Baby Pixie Dust,

Nelson, Becky, and Baby

Ticks of Time

Hopefully another connection to Peter Pan will not steer you away from reading my post today. Through the experiences in my life it has become a powerful theme. . .

Time brings a love-hate relationship. Depending on the circumstance, time goes by too fast or too slow. It has double-sided feelings with the overriding fears of the future and longings for the past. I am learning that by dwelling on the past and worrying about the future, I miss living in the present.

Captian Hook is the villainous pirate captain of Neverland. His character is arrogant and boasterous, with little outward appearance of fear. However, when hearing the sound of a soft "tick-tock," Hook has an instant immobilization. It can be assumed that in a place where no one desires to grow up, time is Hook's greatest fear.

Like Hook, the ticking of clocks naturally brings fear of future and anxiety of the past.  Yet peace comes from trusting in the Lord's timing, which is perfect. In Ecclesiastes, the vitality of time is taught:

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

“A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

“… A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; …

“… A time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Eccl. 3:1–2, 4–5, 7).

Throughout my life, I have struggled to put faith in God's timing. Yet through time and experience, I have developed a testimony of the perfection of His timing. God sees the beginning to end. As I learn and grow, new blessings and challenges unfold. Often the things I hope for eagerly in "my time" need some nurturing and growing with time. In God's perfect timing, His grace adds to my faith to lift me to higher ground. Tick by tick my fairy unfolds to completeness.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught, “The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord’s timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes.”

Complete faith in God's timing includes trust in both His will and timing. Instead of worrying about getting to the next step, I am learning to concentrate on today to create strength for the blessings of tomorrow.

I feel God's timing is prevelant in all aspects of my life, including my employment here in Arizona. This year has been full of transitions - 4th grade teacher at BCE, long-term sub, instructional aide, part-time middle school teacher, and now 4th grade teacher again. Although I wished to have had a 4th grade position immediately when moving to Arizona, I realize this is the best time for it to happen. Even in the transition I am learning to maintain in trust God's timing, by which His grace will bless me.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost. In the exercise of that faith, we should commit ourselves to the priorities and standards we will follow on matters we do not control and persist faithfully in those commitments, whatever happens to us because of the agency of others or the timing of the Lord. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant."

Referring back to Captain Hook, he runs away from the tick tock of the Crocodile. Yet with faith in God's timing, I hope find a dancing beat to the tick-tock of the Crocodile. In so doing, my heart may feel gratitude for joyful memories, hope for the future, and passion for the present.