Individual Worth

Today I am presenting a lesson to a young women's group in my friend from school's ward. Mom asked me to send it out. As I wrote this, I found it hard to find the ability to put into words all that I feel. I guess somethings of the spirit can only be felt, not spoken. . . .

Individual Worth

It seems all fairy tales begin and end with two magical phrases, "Once upon a time" and "And they lived happily ever after."

In last April’s (2010) Young Women General Conference, President Utchdorf gave a magnificent talk entitled, "Your Happily Ever After." He thoughts and insights were enlightening. He begins his talk with:

"Aren’t those wonderful words to begin a story? “Once upon a time” promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words “And they lived happily ever after.”
Isn’t that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?”
In the magical phrases of its beginning and ending, ignorance to the most enchanting part of the story is found. Reading the line "And they lived happily ever after," may cause one to believe that nothing difficult would ever cross the character's path again. However, as I was thinking about this phrase, I came to understand that these magical character’s happiness was found not only before and after the hard obstacles they endured, but most of importantly in between.

A young woman’s fairy tale is nothing short of extraordinary. On the first page of your Young Women Personal Progress book, you will find these words: “You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.” This purpose is stated in the Young Woman’s Theme.

From Elder Utchdorf’s message he states,
Sisters, those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”
But such a blessing does not come without a price. It is not given simply because you desire it. It comes only through understanding who you are and what you must become in order to be worthy of such a gift."
Like all of God’s children, my life’s fairy tale to finding the treasure of my individual worth has been a quest with stumbling stones. In my journey, the magic of God’s love has helped me transform them into stepping-stones.

For the past few years, I have struggled through one of my life’s trials in striving to overcome an eating disorder. A year ago, I entered the Center for Change, an inpatient eating disorder treatment center. Here fairies, angels, and magicians helped me begin my triumph over an individual battle I have fought for years. Through this experience I was able to gain spiritual strength as I found magic pixie dust in simple moments of life. All of God’s children are called to endure and overcome challenges, whether they are physical, emotional, or spiritual. Although an eating disorder has an outward manifestation, it is more accurately an inward battle.

My eating disorder encompassed many different challenges. However, the greatest challenge was moving through the storm of Lucifer’s deceits to see my individual worth as a daughter of God. In the storm of my mind, I felt broken, unlovable, and worthless. My eyes were blind to my potential of majesty as a daughter of a King. With humility, I began to discover the blessings of being “broken.”

Broken & Mending 4/18/2010

Broken
A word that usually brings feelings of despair
Has developed a new, deeper meaning to me
Of hope, healing, and mending

All things that are broken can be mended
Added strength through persistence
Blessings overflowing
An enduring pathway to heaven above

The sacred covenant renewed through the sacrament
Are given through partaking of the broken bread
In memory of the Only Begotten
Who died that I may born again

This holy covenant reminds me of
My Savior’s broken tomb
Opened to mend all men’s graves
To live with Him again

My broken heart
Opens my soul to greater understanding
Mending my spirit with strength to endure
Enlarging my heart with a greater capacity to love

In humility my knees are broken in humility in prayer
Heaven’s light seeps into me bowed before m Maker
His arms wrapped around me mend my wounds
Comfort and blessed by His eternal love

My broken spirit is mended with love
Becoming more whole and complete
Leading me to heaven above
More refined to my true self

I am broken
But not without the power to mend from my Savior
His healing power leads me heaven bound
A power to heal wounds to create my greater self

In a CES fireside, President Utchdorf shared a fairy tale parable that has helped me through my journey to accept my individual worth:
The Ugly Duckling
One of the most beloved storytellers of all time was the Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen. In one of his stories, “The Ugly Duckling,” a mother duck discovers that one of her newly hatched chicks is unusually large and very ugly. At first the mother wonders if she has hatched a turkey egg, but the ugly child can swim as well as her other children. And so she comes to the conclusion that the poor thing is simply abnormal and disfigured.
The other ducklings, however, cannot leave the ugly child alone. They punish him mercilessly, pecking at him and teasing him and making him miserable. Finally, the ugly duckling decides it would be better for everyone if he left his family, and he runs away. During the bitter cold of his first winter on his own, the poor duckling nearly freezes to death, but somehow he survives. In spite of his privations, he feels himself getting stronger, and he loves spreading his wings and taking flight even though he’s alone.
Then one day he sees flying overhead a flock of majestic birds, white as snow, graceful in their movements, with beautiful long necks and wide, elegant wings. Oh, what glorious and happy creatures! The ugly duckling longs to fly with them. He is afraid that they might kill him because he is so ugly. But then he decides that would be better than being pecked at by the other animals forever or freezing to death in the winter. And so he takes flight and follows them to a beautiful lake where they settle onto the water.
As he lands, the ugly duckling looks into the water and sees the reflection of a magnificent swan. Gradually, unable to believe it at first, the ugly duckling realizes that the reflection is his own! To his surprise the other swans welcome him, and they even agree that he is the most beautiful, most majestic of all the swans. At last he has discovered who he really is.
The Great Questions
Like this young swan, most of us have felt at one time or another that we don’t quite fit in. Much of the confusion we experience in this life comes from simply not understanding who we are. Too many go about their lives thinking they are of little worth when, in reality, they are elegant and eternal creatures of infinite value with potential beyond imagination.
Discovering who we really are is part of this great adventure called life. Mankind’s greatest minds have wrestled endlessly with these questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? What happens after we die? And how does all this fit together—how does it make sense?
Once we begin to understand the answers to these questions—not with the mind only, but with the heart and the soul—we will begin to understand who we are, and we will feel like the wanderer who is finally finding home. We will feel like the young swan who has discovered at last who he really is. Everything finally makes sense.

Just like the swan, you are elegant and eternal creatures of infinite value with potential beyond imagination. Though you will pass through trials and hardships, these only increase your worth.

**Share Body Image and Mask

My friend Mary left me a note with an inspirational quote while at the CFC. It comes from a book called, Touchstones:
“Suffering is a journey which has an end. Pain is part of life. To live a spiritual life, we need a way to understand the suffering we sometimes endure. Looking back at other difficult times can give us a better perspective of the pain we feel today. All of us can recall a loss or a sudden difficult change that we never would have chosen for ourselves (although I think I did choose this trial to face in my premortal existence). Perhaps it brought us face to face with insecurities or doubts about our survival. Now, after the suffering has ended, we see how much we grew. We changed; we were strengthened and, perhaps, were liberated by what happened to us.
Thoughts about today’s suffering may not be clear as to what good it holds for us. But we are on a journey and it can only happen one step at a time. We know that journeys teach us great lessons and they do have endings. Our pain today affirms that we are vital and alive people. We know that others suffer as we do, and we can turn to each other to give and receive comfort while we are on the journey. My pain will teach me something I need to know, and it will have an end. I will pay attention to its lesson.”
After Mary wrote this which also brought a lot of peace:
“As I’ve been here at the Center, I’ve come to believe that this disease is one of Satan’s acute tools to target powerful, strong women who can and will do marvelous and great works while here on earth. He strikes at our very souls- literally, our minds, spirits, and bodies. I’ve come to believe that I can and will cast him and this disease out of my life so that I can say, as Moses said to Satan – Rent and rave all you’d like, frighten me with the horrific power of the depths of hell; but when you are done- please step out of my way. For I am a child of God and I have a work to do, and I will do it.”

This quote and encouragement brought a lot of comfort and peace to me. Although the quest may be overwhelming, I know it is part of the journey. Triumphs come through trials, progress comes through learning, and discovery comes through hunting.

I have come to see, believe, and know for myself that my challenges are the greatest blessings in my life. I would and will not trade them for anything. Through my challenges I am able to draw closer to my Heavenly Father. He is aware of my path and journey and the ways it will mold me to the person His sees in my eternal mirror. God’s hands, grace, and love are always there for me. His hands comfort, pray, hug, and lift me. Without him I am nothing and with Him I can become everything.

Even though the past few years have been extremely difficult emotionally, I am grateful for the growing opportunities I have been blessed with. I have hope and faith that these challenges are the stepping-stones of progress that are necessary to take.

One of the first blessings of my patriarchal blessing states, "Remember that happiness is a pathway that you would follow, not a destination which you hope someday to obtain." In my fairy tale of life, I am learning to seek the treasures of happiness found in my journey. After all, God's plan is called "His Great Plan of Happiness." This is an eternal gift of love from our Heavenly Father. It prepares a way for me and all His children to receive a body, come to earth to be tested, and progress to become more like Him.

Lucifer truly envies the gift of our body for He will never receive one. My body enables me to experience and receive magnificent joy through the obstacles I overcome. Satan is envious of the great blessings of happiness found along the journey and strives to blind my eyes to see life's overflowing treasures.

The Master’s Touch
Becky Yates
5/16/10

A blank canvas stands before me
Ready for a masterpiece of creation
An outline of my journey and progression
Sketching my divine character

Each brush of the paintbrush is a mark of my character
Depicting the colors of my spirit
Enlightening my true self
Drawing me closer to my home above

At times I set my paintbrush down
Unsure how to continue forward
What color, shade, or stroke to do
Bound by feelings of inadequacy

My eyes are blinded by the darkness of insecurity
My arms and hands become faint
My knees feeble by the load I bear
Captured by the enemy’s snare

Yet I am not alone
My master has never left me
The Master’s Touch embraces my hands
Leading and directing my divine design

Through the actions of my hands
My Master stands behind me
Guiding the strokes and travels of my hand
Embracing me with warmth and love

When my hands stumble and slip
He is there to lead my hand with tenderness
Creating a masterpiece from my mistakes
For in imperfection is His perfection found

Each smear and splotch is part of His plan
Refining and polishing my image
Marking His perfect design as a daughter of a king
With the Master’s Touch, my masterpiece is created

President Utchdorf concludes his talk of “Our True Identity.”

It is my earnest prayer that the knowledge of who you are and what you may become will fill your souls with the peaceable love of God and that this will ignite within you a happiness worthy of your true heritage, for in truth you are princes and princesses, kings and queens.

There will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting you are but ugly ducklings and that you can’t expect to become anything else.
But you know better. Because of the revealed word of a merciful God, you have seen your true reflection in the water and you have felt the eternal glory of that divine spirit within you. You are no ordinary beings, my beloved young friends all around the world. You are glorious and eternal.

No matter your circumstances or trials in life, I urge you to remember who you are, where you came from, and where you are going—for the answers to those questions will truly provide confidence and direction for your life. Your Heavenly Father lives. He knows you.

Testimony