For Whom the Lord Loveth He Chasteneth

Our Relief Society lesson focused on Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s April 2011 General Conference talk, “As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten.” I felt as if this reminder was so prevalent for me today.

I have a testimony of the divine power of chastening in my life. I understand God’s guidance and outpouring of love in chastening us. It is his way of shaping us to our best.

Elder Christofferson explained that Heavenly Father has high expectations for us. To meet these high expectations, we need to have one particular attitude: “willingly to accept and even seek correction.”

I feel the negative mind and Ed also has high expectations, but in a negative way. There expectations are impossible to meet because with their deceits I am never “good enough.”

God’s love, grace, and mercy provide a way to fill in my best efforts to change. However, I need to desire and work for the change. When I humble myself to make change, act in diligence and faith, and trust in God’s grace, my chastening magically transforms into blessings. Hidden blessings, angels, and treasures of potential are found in the molding of God’s chastening.

Elder Christofferson describes 3 divine purposes of chastening:

· “Persuade us to repent”

· “Refine & sanctify us”

· “Redirect our course in life to what God knows is a better path”

I was touched by his comment, “Though it is often difficult endure, truly we ought to rejoice that God considers us worth the time and trouble to correct.” With Satan’s minons, Ed and my negative mind, I am of no worth because I am not perfect.

With Satan’s despair, there is the black and white thinking of perfection or failure. Yet, I am learning with God’s plan, the purpose is to develop into His masterpiece with my choice to do so.

Repentance brings about a change of heart, becoming a new creature in Christ. Through a cleansing of myself, I am refined and prepared for “greater spiritual privileges.” In all my moments of pain, the Savior is there to lighten my burdens as I choose to share His yoke. Then with an overwhelming love, he delivers me in my surrender.

As Elder Christofferson taught, there is another “form of chastening or correction to guide us to a future we do not or cannot now envision but which He knows is the better way for us.” My negative mind and Ed lead me to believe I can never change enough. With them, my eyes are blind to see possibilities and potential.

I loved Elder Christofferson’s story of Hugh B. Brown:

President Hugh B. Brown, formerly a member of the Twelve and a counselor in the First Presidency, provided a personal experience. He told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:

“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”

Years later, President Brown was a field officer in the Canadian Army serving in England. When a superior officer became a battle casualty, President Brown was in line to be promoted to general, and he was summoned to London. But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon. The commanding general said in essence, “You deserve the appointment, but I cannot give it to you.” What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers in that moment because of blatant discrimination. Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

“I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?’ I was as bitter as gall.

“And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …

“… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”

God knew what Hugh B. Brown was to become and what was needed for that to happen, and He redirected his course to

prepare him for the holy apostleship.

I feel similar to President Hugh B. Brown for the way God has led me through my life, even in transformation of my stumbling blocks into stepping-stones. In the midst of the storms of life it is difficult to see the beauty that is created through nourishing of the blowing winds and sprinkling rain. Strength and growth develop in powerful ways through these passing storms. Truly the Lord loves those He chastens.

Elder Christofferson explains how we can strive to measure up to Heavenly Father expectations:

If we sincerely desire and strive to measure up to the high expectations of our Heavenly Father, He will ensure that we receive all the help we need, whether it be comforting, strengthening, or chastening. If we are open to it, needed correction will come in many forms and from many sources.” These sources include:

• · The course of our prayers as God speaks to our mind and heart through the Holy Ghost (see D&C 8:2).
• · The form of prayers that are answered no or differently than we had expected.
• · Studying the scriptures and are reminded of deficiencies, disobedience, or simply matters neglected.
• · Correction can come through others, especially those who are God-inspired to promote our happiness. Apostles, prophets, patriarchs, bishops, and others
• · We can help one another as fellow Church members
• · Correction, hopefully gentle, can come from one’s spouse.
• · Parents can and must correct, even chasten, if their children are not to be cast adrift at the mercy of a merciless adversary and his supporters.
• · Eventually, much of our chastening should come from within—we should become self-correcting. One of the ways that our late beloved colleague Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin became the pure and humble disciple that he was by analyzing his performance in every assignment and task. In his desire to please God, he resolved to determine what he could have done better, and then he diligently applied each lesson learned.
• Remember that reproof should be timely, with sharpness or clarity, “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy” (D&C 121:43).

As I read the final source of chastening, I reflect on the power of change that comes with an inner desire to change. Satan creates a feeling of failure or complacency to distract from the power to change. Yet as Elder Christofferson teaches, “It is a diligent, devoted effort on our part that calls forth this empowering and enabling grace, an effort that certainly includes submission to God’s chastening hand and sincere, unqualified repentance. Let us pray for His love-inspired correction.”

Reading and studying this talk has driven me to be more diligent in my road of recovery. As difficult as it is to humbly listen and follow the feelings and words of correction from others, I feel that more complete, divine change will come. How grateful I am for God’s plan of happiness that includes times of storm and sunshine to mold me into my best self. “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth” (Hebrews 12:6)

By Small and Simple Things

I was reading an article on Elder David A. Bednar's Women's Conference address at BYU on April 29, 2011. He taught an important spiritual pattern: “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). This has always been a favorite scripture of mine, capturing my attention.

In connection with this scripture, Elder Bednar referenced D&C 52:14, emphasizing "a pattern in all things." He taught that by small and simple spiritual patterns great things come to pass.

Contrary to the Lord's pattern, Elder Bednar explained, “Many people in our contemporary world are drawn to promises of big results that occur quickly and all at once .” The adversary made “impressive assertions about big results” in similar ways in premortality, Elder Bednar said, citing Moses 4:1 & 3. In my life, I feel this destructive quick pattern is in Ed's taunts for a "quick recovery" and "instant resolution." My negative mind cycles worries of imperfection and slow movement.

Yet, Elder Bednar reminded me of God's eternal principle of growth and progress comes by small and simple means. In contrast to Satan’s method and the methods of the world, “the Lord typically ministers ‘one by one,’” (3 Nephi 11:15) Elder Bednar taught. “He enables us to learn ‘line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little’ (2 Nephi 28:30). And He accomplishes His work by bringing to pass great things through small and simple means.”

Elder Bednar said, “I believe many, if not all, of the most satisfying and memorable accomplishments in our homes, in the Church, in our jobs and professions, and in our communities will be the product of this important spiritual pattern—of simple and small things . . . Brothers and sisters, we should find great comfort in the fact that ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results.”

In connection with Elder Bednar's Women's Conference talk, I read Elder Ballard’s recent conference talk, “Finding Joy through Loving Service.” In his talk, Elder Ballard shares the rich blessings of service & love through a story:

Oftentimes we are like the young merchant from Boston, who in 1849, as the story goes, was caught up in the fervor of the California gold rush. He sold all of his possessions to seek his fortune in the California rivers, which he was told were filled with gold nuggets so big that one could hardly carry them.

Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan into the river and came up empty. His only reward was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he was ready to quit until one day an old, experienced prospector said to him, “That’s quite a pile of rocks you are getting there, my boy.”

The young man replied, “There’s no gold here. I’m going back home.”
Walking over to the pile of rocks, the old prospector said, “Oh, there is gold all right. You just have to know where to find it.” He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several flecks of gold sparkling in the sunlight.

Noticing a bulging leather pouch fastened to the prospector’s waist, the young man said, “I’m looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch, not just tiny flecks.”

The old prospector extended his pouch toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see several large nuggets. He was stunned to see that the pouch was filled with thousands of flecks of gold.
The old prospector said, “Son, it seems to me you are so busy looking for large nuggets that you’re missing filling your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth.”

This story illustrates the spiritual truth that Alma taught his son Helaman:

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. …
“… And by very small means the Lord … bringeth about the salvation of many souls” (Alma 37:6–7).

As we listened to this story again, I was reminded of the great treasures that are acquired through persistent acts of courage and faith. When I work patient after the Lord's pattern of small and simple changes, I find sparks of new growth and twinkling transformations. Peace and happiness surround me with a hope in a brighter path.

My eyes caught the glimmer of magic that compassion gives. Like Elder Ballard taught in the story of the flecks of gold that compound together into nuggets, so do simple daily acts of persistent effort combine together to ignite a flicker into a fame. With these slight changes, my character brightens with the sparkles of light new changes add to my being. Fleck by fleck my bucket of pixie dust is filled with the new light from acknowledging my own self-worth and love of others.

Sometimes my individual changes occur internally, invisible to my outward eye. In time, the internal process of healing and growing inside bring external blessings. Patiently waiting for those outward manifestations is an active process of faith. I am learning that the Lord's timing is often different from my own. However, His knowledge of the beginning to the end sees the power possibility of patience. In enduring faith, momentous growth is made to continue forward with persistence. There is power in small glimpses and bright shimmers of growth.

On the most difficult days, I understand the importance of acknowledging my powerlessness to God in prayer and faith. His light continually reaches out to strengthen us in times of heartache and difficulty. When praying to Heavenly Father for help, I have learned to not ask Him to remove the mountain. Instead I have found glimmers of growth by asking for His loving hand to guide me to know how to climb the mountain. In doing so, I am learning to follow the spiritual pattern of discovering magnificent treasures: "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass."

Stitches of my Mother's Love

Mom,

Happy Mother’s Day! We love you more than words can say. Your love binds our family together forever. Each of our hearts is stitched with your love, defining our divinity.

Your love mends broken hearts and wounds. When our load is too heavy to bear, you are there to help in any way. Sometimes this means someone to talk to, cry with, or a hand to hold.

Through your eyes, our imperfections are lost and found as perfections. Your love tucks in our frayed edges just as you did when we were little at night. Attached to your faith, we refine and find our worth.

Threads decoratively stitch our hearts with fond family memories. We love the time and effort you take to create and keep traditions together. Love binds us together through this tender time.

Your loving, guiding hand loyally helps us thread and sew our own creations. Always and forever, you will be our mother stitched in our hearts with love.

We love you!

Always!

Charity Never Faileth

Today I had an opportunity to teach Relief Society. I choose to teach on the principle of charity. Like all talks and lessons, the one who presents it seems to learn the most. I am so grateful for the opportunity to study and learn about this eternal principle.

The Bible Dictionary defines charity as the "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds or benevolence although it may be a prompting motive." (p. 632)

Charity is more than giving, even more than giving with feeling. It is loving in the way that Christ loves and being willing to give even your life in the service of others if necessary. Christ healed, preached, administered to the sick, and gave his life not out of duty or a need to use his power, but out of love. He said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34).

Paul further explains the principle of charity in 1 Corinthians 13:

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemingly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth."

In reading Paul's teaching of charity, I learned that true gifts are given with heart. Charity is the love the expands in the acts of love, gifts given, and service shared with others. It is the indescribable pixie dust feelings of joy that comes with recognizing what it means to love and be loved.

I love President Monson's definition of charity in the October Relief Society's conference:

"I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper.

Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.

Needed is the charity, which refuses to find satisfaction in hearing or in repeating the reports of misfortunes that come to others, unless by so doing, the unfortunate one may be benefited. The American educator and politician Horace Mann once said, “To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is godlike.”

Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."

Charity is a character trait that is developed over time. It comes through the memories we share with others, overcoming hardship, and the dusting of light we gain through relationships shared. Along my road of recovery, my bucket of pixie dust has been filled with the magic that comes from developing relationships with others. The light of others intensifies my light and love for life.

President Monson explained further, "Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” The Savior has admonished, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot."

A new understanding came to me as I read Luke 8:12-32, in which the Lord testifies that He is the “light of life.” Christ explains to the Pharisees that if they knew Him, they would know Heavenly Father.

I believe all God’s children have this same “light of life.” Through it brightness, truth and divine perspective is found. With the “light of life,” understanding, compassion, and love break down any bearers. We are able to recognize without judgment others & love them for who they are: sons and daughters of God. Through these experiences, charity is developed one heart at a time.

Cherishing Children

Jesus Christ taught us to look to children as an example. When the disciples ask Him who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven in the New Testament, Christ answers with a powerful object lesson. As He calls a child to sit in the midst of them, Jesus says,

“Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3–4).

Sister Jean A. Stevens taught in this last conference the way children are able to bless and teach in our lives. She said:

"What is it we should learn from children? What qualities do they possess and what examples do they demonstrate that can help us in our own spiritual development?

These precious children of God come to us with believing hearts. They are full of faith and receptive to feelings of the Spirit. They exemplify humility, obedience, and love. They are often the first to love and the first to forgive."

Children have always brought such great joy into my life. Their genuine, innocent love is contagious. My negative mind is more at ease around them because I feel comforted by their nonjudgmental, unconditional love. It is a good thing that my job is surrounded by little people.:D

I love teaching and learning from my students. The magic of learning is found in their innocence and simplicity. This is a stark contrast to the complicated twisting lies of deceit from Ed and Satan's minions. Trust, faith, and hope glimmer in their eyes. The present is playful and the future is attainable.

I am amazed at their sense of trust and malleability to change. Many often describe children as "resilient." To me this means they are adaptable and humble. Such qualities are essential to growth.

Each day my students help me continue to develop important traits of love, kindness, friendship, joy, risk, and trust. I love the way they help me laugh and take time to play. I can't wait to experience this with my own children some day.

“Children are the epitome of innocence, they are the epitome of purity, they are the epitome of love, they are the epitome of hope and gladness in this difficult and troubled world. –Gordon B. Hinckley

(“Behold Your Little Ones,” Children’s Fireside Satellite Broadcast, January 23, 1994.)

Faith in Friendship

In many of my recent sessions with Julie we have talked about social fears and friendships. Throughout my life I have struggled to feel accepted and an adequate friend. I recognize it as an undesirable cycle of my negative mind. Today I took the challenge to read and ponder on some of the words of the prophets about friendship.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton gave an inspiring talk titled, “What is a friend?” He states:

Someone has said, “A friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am.” Accepting this as one definition of the word, may I quickly suggest that we are something less than a real friend if we leave a person the same way we find him.

There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence.

Ed disguises himself as a “true friend,” yet leads only to misery and destruction. He tears down all truth, and builds barriers of doubt of divine potential. Ed, as a minion to the adversary, is an enemy of the soul.

Contrary, we are all blessed with an eternal friend, our Savior and Redeemer. Through the power of the atonement, Christ is able to succor to our needs with omnipotent understanding. He never leaves us alone, but constantly reaches out to bless us.

One such way is through heavenly angelic friends. Looking at past and present experiences, I feel it is God’s divine design to place certain people in your life at certain times. Seemingly, life’s twinkling stars align in His perfect plan.

Elder Marlin K. Jensen taught,

“ . . . Friendship is a fundamental need of our world. I think in all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give. Perhaps one reason the scriptures make little specific mention of the principle of friendship is because it should be manifest quite naturally as we live the gospel. In fact, if the consummate Christian attribute of charity has a first cousin, it is friendship. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul slightly, friendship “suffereth long, and is kind; [friendship] envieth not; … seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; … [friendship] never faileth.”

In this perfect plan, I have learned Heavenly Father answers my prayers through others – my angels – family and friends. In their loving service, I am healed and blessed. My love for the Savior and my sweet angels deepens and becomes more complete. Through the blessing of friends, a dusting of colorful pixie dust is added to my character through the way they add love, laughter, and joy to life.

I am grateful for the way my angel friends have accepted me for me, and helped me grow – despite my battle with my negative mind to believe I am lovable. There is individual need for friendship. Friendship creates a place of belonging, a time for laughter, sprinkles of spontaneity, and glimpses of growth.

Like Peter Pan’s “Lost Boys,” I can often feel alone and afraid. It is then heaven reaches down dustings of “Tinker Bells” to bring blessings of friendship. Their love adds a “happy thought” that empowers my ability to fly to my own Neverland of passion, play, and pleasure.